We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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