I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
