I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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