Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
