I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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