And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
