Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
