Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
