Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
