Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
