dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
