Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
