Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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