Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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