His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
