My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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