apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
