Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
