I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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