It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
