Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
