It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
