You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize