Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
