Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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