Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
