Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Actions speak louder than pants.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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