I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
this will be a night to untag.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
