he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
