I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize