if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
