My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
A bitchslap is in order.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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