Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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