You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize