can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
