hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
