Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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