Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
