Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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