I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
