Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
