Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
