tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
