TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
