my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
