What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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