Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
