All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
