We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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