oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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