I just made out with a guy for $7.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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