My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
