Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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