i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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