I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize