It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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