Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
