I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
