In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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