Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
