Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
