I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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